It has been a very long time since I wrote anything in my blog. I have been isolating myself and hiding either in my work or my bedroom. I have been working 45 to 60 hours a week, and then I crash and lay in my bed watching mindless tv, playing solitaire on my laptop. I do not call anyone, I do not answer calls, I do not answer emails, I don’t go out anywhere. I have been isolating myself big-time.
I went to an open AA meeting last week with a dear friend who is a recovered alcoholic. The idea being that I might get something out of the sharing. I did. It was when one alcoholic talked about the self-pity and the isolating behaviours she went through after stopping drinking and the effect it had on her life. I swallowed hard, I had tears welling up in my eyes. I related 100% to all that she was saying. I left feeling that I now need to put some of those work hours into me. I deserve my time and attention and so do others. I need to reach out and go out no matter how much I don’t want to. Why? Because I am truly unhappy shut up in my room. I truly am miserable and my lifestyle is not helping.
So here I am. I am like the bear, slowly waking and returning to life after a winter of sleeping in darkness. I am a little bit grumpy and hungry for something different than my own self- pity and grief.
Hello out there.
I did the same thing. I just started writing things I want to do on a pretty card. I intend to hang the cards up. Once I complete it, take a picture- glue to the picture on the back of the picture and have the picture hang in its spot! I hope the world is kind to you.
ReplyDeleteHello Beautiful. Glad you are back.
ReplyDeleteNicole, thank you connecting and for the good idea.
ReplyDeleteA - I know we are days apart. I hope you are managing. I think of you often and send you love.